In dog we trust

My person has been slack lately re blogging so I decided to steal a page and put my view about. I am slate the stupid dog . My person calls me that and I might add it's not true. Just because I ignore the silly commands she and the other people at my house expect me to follow.
Dont they know a dog who spent the first 10 months of his life hungry cannot ignore any food within reach, it's not as if they need it, their fridge is full of vegetable matter and it seems its all they eat, there is no accounting for some tastes. There is one that they call the other that likes and occasionally gets a piece of meat, he was not at all happy when I took the steak off his plate, he is a bit slow.... and the smell was divine and well worth the yelling and humming and haaring that went on for a bit. My person did give him some of her tofu so it's not as if he went without.
Now they have taken to putting the fruit at the back of the sink, and the bread. I used to really enjoy the whole loaf, it really filled me up and I used to watch the other when he would spend quite a bit of time looking for it, his memory is not what it used to be so nothing was ever said and I think he thought he must have eaten it. But when the vet saw me she said uh uh Slate needs to go on a diet. So now all the fruit and bread goes behind the sink where I cant quite reach , I am working on how to reach it and if Dorje the one with teeth would just let me stand on him I could do it. I do like a piece of fruit, they expect me to be happy with the skins, and I am. But a nice juicy pear or even a whole paw paw is much better and a plate of avocados yummm, I am sure you will all agree. Next time I will tell you about the black plastic squares and all that palaver that went on after I ate it.
Sometimes her downstairs the short one, brings some ripe avocado's and even some meat for the other one. I managed to get those treats, I was careful to lick the plates squeaky clean, my person was voicing her query to the other one about what these clean plates from downstairs were doing in her kitchen. I got away with that for quite a while until one day her downstairs asked if my person enjoyed the avocado's and so on and then they put 2 and 2 together and so now these treats go straight in the fridge damn!
The one downstairs also makes cakes and they are divine and when they left one for later on the table one day, I will admit to having a good chunk of it but its not as if I ate it all, my tongue just wouldn't quite reach the end and the cover was just a bit too far to flip right off. But none of them not even the other would have what was left , no they gave it to the chooks, I wonder why, something was said about drool and stuff on the plate.
Now the one with teeth, he is the stupid one, a few weeks ago I thought it was time he realised who was boss, all I did was jump on him quite a bit so he would realise I was taller and bigger and that I should be the one in charge, and you know what he did, he fought me!!! My people all came running and there was much screaming and palaver until my person grabbed a laundry basket and put it over my head , she then was very surprised to see that I had skin ripped off above my eye and that the silly one was unmarked. So guess what ? the silly one was made to go inside and I was made a great deal of fuss over, man they lay it on , rescue remedy, betadine , calls to the vet and so on and then for weeks I had to suffer the indignity of being called scarface. Thank goodness the hair has grown back now and my person is calling me slate again. I dont love this name, after all the people who gave it to me had a nasty person at their house who treated us all rather badly and I was very happy to be out of there, even if I did nearly die in the process, so you can see that a new name would be just fine, however they think I am too stupid to come to a new name, they need to realise I wont come to any name when I am protecting the property from would be intruders.
Lately though my person has started calling me Marley and I like that, she watched this movie called Marley and Me and she laughed so much in one part she fell off her chair, so of course, Dorje and I rushed up and started licking her face and she said, pushing and shoving . It's so seldom she gets on the floor and we like it when she does, we can really show her how much we love her and so I figure Marley must be a good name.
Uh Oh my person is coming, I'm outta here, she seems to have a problem with me or Dorje touching or tasting or leaving toothmarks on her gadgets, next time I would like to give my view point on those hens and the barking and the would be intruders.......oh and the one with the noisy leg who seems to think I should listen to him....